tryin' to find something to say before we go away.

this is me attempting to tie things up.

just putting things down.

nostalgia running rampant.

the tope five things i think i will miss the most while at college.

(in no particular order.)

• neo-futurists.

yeah, i know new york has neo-futurists, but that's like saying "you won't miss the cta - new york has trains!" maybe? that might have been a really really terrible simile.

• my sewing machine.

my beat-up, secondhand singer with the busted bobbin winder. how i love it. it got me through the summer, though i broke several needles. i love it and i can operate it like i've been doin' it all my life. i'm taking knitting needles and crochet hooks and embroidery needles with me, but i'm going to miss my machine terrible.

i'm leaving my two favorite machines at home: my sewing machine and my teal typewriter. damn life is hard.

• cats.

lancelot. arthur.

my darling orange tabbys.

i won't miss their hair.

• uptown.

it's my favorite neighborhood. i love that it's beat up and dirty and has a real old chicago feel to it. and there are all sorts of folks, from yuppies (fucking yuppies, bringing in a target in 2010) to kind of loony homeless people who talk to themselves. it's in the perfect location in the city, i think. there aren't really any fabric or craft stores, that's my one complaint. there's a knitting store and it's very nice but very expensive. otherwise, i love uptown. somedays i would just walk through the neighborhood and just feel my chest fill so full with the power of the thoughts of this is chicago, this is part of me, this is a beautiful place, a place i love, a chunk of the city that i feel confident and comfortable in, that i have let seep into the air i breathe. i can be very strangely proud sometimes.

• you know, when i started this list i definitely had five things, but i can't for the life of me remember exactly what the fifth one was. it was probably something silly like the public library system or knowing my way around. i really don't know.

another thing:

a couple of my friends, adrian and michael, just released a tape they made.

it's called Lake/Breeze (by Lake Breeze) and it looks like this:

you can download it by clicking here.

but be sure to buy it in physical form if you come across it

because, remember,

analog is way cooler.

it's pretty good. i get a total kick out of the fact that my friends released an original tape.

also, check out michael's blog lakebreezetapes.blogspot.com

while cleaning and rearranging i came across this note which was passed to me by a girl named veronica during ap lit. class regarding a choir competition she'd participated in: it wasn't really a competition, it was more of a festival. it was great. it was like singing with angels :) we finally got to sing with the people who were serious about music. it took a LONG time though.

i like this note. it makes me very happy. probably the "singing with angels part".

i'm over-packing clothing and under-packing wisdom.

as i shove and fold and press and wrinkle

shirt after shirt into a now-over-stuffed under-the-bed box

i think punning-ly of the phrase

"box tops for education".

"box" being a verb meaning "shove things into boxes," in this context.

for final acts i made my little brother mix cds and shoved a needle through my ear lobe. i collaged a new notebook and re-heeled old shoes. i lost things i had "just a second ago" and found things i haven't seen in months. i tore my bedroom apart and packed it together and cleared it out. i wished i had more time, but am ultimately grateful that i don't.