Tuesday, May 19, 2009

a prom fantasy (because, yes, i am going to prom and, yes, it will probably be awful).

as stated above, i'm going to my senior prom. when i bought the ticket a month ago, a huge wave of buyer's remorse swept over me. but i'm going to be glad i did it at least. i'll have my pretty in pink moment. what do you mean? i mean i'm making my dress and i'm not sure it looks very good, and i'm going to prom alone. didn't molly? go alone. i mean i know that her friends were at prom, but she definitely walked in alone. right? i don't know, i only saw that movie once and i like duckie and the record store lady more than molly's character anyway. so i'm going to prom because i want stereotypical high school closure. even though i'm going to hate a lot of the girls' dresses because they are all shiny and made by sweatshop workers with breathing problems and arthritis and no money. even though i'm going to hate ninety percent of the songs they play (or one hundred percent, i'm trying to be positive and hope the dj will play at least two songs that don't make me want to hit something).

remember, try to think positive.
i'm going to wear mascara to prom. i decided that a couple days ago. i don't wear make-up on a daily basis, so mascara is a big deal.

last night, while babysitting i figured out how to work the stereo and put on jeff buckley's cd grace and listened to his cover of "halellujah" many, many times. i was really tired and i was trying really hard not to just totally drift off to sleep, because if i fell asleep, the house would most surely catch fire and... well, you know the rest.
but that song, specifially, that cover is just to beautiful and i thought,
this would be a lovely sort of last song to play at prom.
i would find some one who didn't have a date
and we would head to the dance floor, wrapped in each others' arms
and gently sway and feel our chests breathing against the other's.
and that would totally save my prom night.

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