Tuesday, February 9, 2010


i'm starting to wonder why i don't just walk next door and insert myself into the party that i'm watching from my bedroom window. i know a handful of girls that i can see. well, i've met them once or twice.
tomorrow has been declared a snow day at sarah lawrence. tuesdays are not usually loud party nights. tonight is.
i think i should drop out of school. i don't care about any of this shit and i'm just accumulating silly debt every second i sit in my bronxville bed self-loathing and reading "classic" texts. i am so tired. and i have so much work, which i shouldn't even bitch about because i guess i elected to go to college. i just hate it here. i think some night i'm gonna stay out in bronxville all night, sitting on street corners and behind that abandoned house-shed.

i guess to clarify:
i like sarah lawrence as a place, as a college, but i am fast realizing that i am not ready for college. you need a clearer game-plan to go to college, even one that's free-form and weird like this one. if you don't know at least a little who you are and what you want to know more about, then it's a waste. this is a romantic time waste. a beautiful expense. i guess if college was free i would feel differently.

1 comment:

  1. you are learning this in a much more mature way than i did, which was by screwing up and losing a scholarship, so props to you. i wouldn't call it dropping out so much as taking time off should you elect to do so. just find something else productive that you want to do for awhile and it won't feel so weird.