this is me in bronxville, ny.
this is me two weeks into school
(three weeks into living in a place with actual factual hills)
and still not sure what the fuck i'm doing here.
this is me still feeling the smoke of a found cigarette in the back of my throat.
the second cigarette i smoked today,
not because i was pressured into it,
not because i needed to or even necessarily wanted to.
just 'cause i could.
that seems like a good enough reason for college.
(it's the reason i keep going to all sorts of auditions that i'm not totally qualified for.)
this is me outside in the dark
raping the moon and the stars
with the white glow of my laptop.
i'm just chillin'
cause i've literally studied all day.
i'm just airin' out
so my roommates aren't like
"you been smokin'?"
i'm just wishing i had some fucking friends.