notes of thank-you and apology.

today is my last day of school.
finally. finally.
at least that's what i think i should be saying.
but it feels so anti-climactic.
i mean,
the seniors have to be in and out of school all next week
to prepare for graduation.
but
today is my last day of school.

so here are notes to some of my fellow classmates.

dear mary-kate, ian, anna, andy, hugh, angelica, and drew,
thank you for being around. thank you for being here. thank you for being so interesting to talk to if only briefly. thank you for talking to me. thank you for seeming to find me interesting. thank you for doing whatever you do.
i'm sorry i didn't know you better. i really am. will you dance with me at prom? can i write you letters in college?
with love,
emma

dear christine and alejandra,
thank you for all the time i've spent with you two, together or separate. you are both so smart and aware. i always come away from talking to you wanting to learn more about what you know. thank you for being sensible people and not completely insane like so many high schoolers. simply said: thank you for being almost unspeakably cool.
i don't really feel i have anything to apologize for to you two. i might have liked to know you better, but really i think it worked best that you are more like occasional friends for me.
good luck in college. i hope i run into you at shows in the future.
love,
emma

dear zoe,
thank you for being so much fun to hang out with. thank you for being someone i know i can identify with; share stories, share interests, share the uncertainty of being a senior, being eighteen, going to college. thank you for being on costume crew with me all year.
i'm sorry we didn't get to know each other better. i sorry we weren't friends longer. i want to keep in touch with you.
love always,
emma

dear elizabeth,
thank you for always being there (where? you know, "there." ?) for me. you are my oldest friend. not age-wise. no no. time-wise. and i am your oldest friend. whatever changed i was always able to know that i would have you. you have always been good and sensible and willing to listen.
i'm sorry that we've drifted a little. i hope we keep in touch next school year. please let's see a lot of each other this summer. i'm sorry if i've ever taken you for granted.
love always and forever, unconditionally,
emma

dear adrian,
thank you for trying to love me.
i'm sorry i'm such a coward.
love,
emma


this post is far too nostalgic.
i'm being silly.