i laid on my pillow
my vacant hand next
to my ear full of music.
this isn’t about music
and its magic and
the way it makes me feel.
i was breathing just
breathing in time.
feeling my fingertips
fill with air. and
the air slipped out and left
my fingertips cold and tingling
it felt like five little
ribbons, sliding out
and emphasizing the hollow.
and this is distracting.
and i am not sleepy.
and won’t someone hold my hand.
i like this.
this being alone.
this weight of my cd played
on my belly
slowly rising and falling.
spinning that burned cd
you thought i should listen to,
i guess. probably because you
like it. i don’t know just yet.
i wish i could fall asleep because
i know i should
but, really, i’m
happy just
to stay in this limbo,
because this is better
than sleep, because
i can remember it
and how i feel here and there.
_ in and out.
_ okay.
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