ON FRIDAY.

i'm going to edinburgh, scotland and this is not going to be a travel blog.

also, this type color is more or less the color of the raincoat i found at the village discount.

apparently it rains in scotland.

this is a picture i took of the raincoats when i saw them:

this is a song by the raincoats.

what gives?

sometimes,

when i'm writing,

i realize i come off sounding far more traumatized than i functionally am.

but maybe that's just the liberal arts college?

this theater department is a joke.

new day rising.

in high school, i floated along conversations. i heard about the "drama" other kids had, secondhand, from their friends who were just ranting or telling a funny story. and i was glad to float, glad i didn't haul around people's shit. glad i didn't babble on to third parties about people now to distant too make any sense. but i also wondered that if people were really so fucked up, why didn't they come to me? duh. i clearly possessed the special balance of emotional distance sympathy and patience. i would be great at advice, i thought. also, if no one saw this, saw how perfect and wise i was, then maybe they weren't actually fucked up, maybe they didn't want help, maybe they just wanted to be more angry over something that was really nothing so they went to a friend to get riled up. i don't know. the important part is i had no part of anything remotely considered social "drama" ever. i also didn't have but one maybe two good friends, but that's a different story.

but i realize, now when i am an older version of that self, one that has some friends and a hell of a lot of acquaintances, i am a person people come to for advice. and i am a third party, and i am a good balance of sympathetic and emotionally distanced enough to seem wise. and now everyone seems fucked up. and everyone seems to freak out FOR TOTALLY LEGITIMATE REASONS over somethings that are really nothings. onlysometimesthey'rereallysomethings,iguess. and it's weird because i think more about the fact of the sort-of burden and sort-of obligation i feel to be a listener, which i know is an essential position, than i think about the actual burden of my friend. their problem remains distant from me, and i am more concerned with my rational perspective as a third party, so as to give best advice. does that make any sense?

no.

but all i know is suddenly my life is filled with others people's emotional drama. and i think back to high school when i wanted to be this person who was turned to for advice. and i'm glad i am, because i love these people past their "drama" and want to see them get through it, but i guess i never thought i would be this kind of listener. everything in some kind of due time. i'm certainly better equipped and wiser than i was when i was 16. the same, but more so.

gracious haiku (7-10-7, sure it's a fucking haiku)

some moments it's like, someone

needs to shut off the happiness faucet,

because my cup is so full.

i don't wanna talk about how i know this chick's fucking tumblr page okay? i jus wanna blame it on growing up in a digital age and all that jazz.

so AN-EE-WEIGH

this chick

complemented my backpack when we passed each other on milwaukee ave. in wicker paaarrrque today.

she said, and i quote (as well as my memory serves me): "that is the coolest backpack i have ever seen."

"thanks, i made it," i said.

and i'll admit i was a little disappointed when she didn't ask to take a picture and put it on her blog.

god fucking damn it i hate my so-called-techlife. in other news i started a facebook page and now i really need to be put out to pasture.

also today i said "times new viking" to this dude i'm sort of going to be working with this summer and he was like, "they're kinda scream-o, right?"

wrongwrongwrongwrongwrong six ways from sunday dude.

an early summer haiku:

this summer is just

uncanny in its twists of

mist blissed convergence.

a parting haiku:

seals in water,

tuna in cans, a place for

everything, for now